


Cain Kills Abel

by Boyd



Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: M/M, Religion, Religious Conflict, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 22:10:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19450489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boyd/pseuds/Boyd
Summary: -	What are you doing? Get your hands off of me!-	Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, for this is the will of God.-	Let’s pray to God.-	Amen.





	Cain Kills Abel

**Author's Note:**

> versionist: Kerime

Liam is singing. 

Among a couple dozen of lads of his age and a little bit older. The sun shines out of their behinds through the tall lancet windows of the Catholic Church. So you have to narrow your eyes to make out his face but he sees you clearly. His hair flares red in the halo of sunlight above the head and it’s not your Liam, who wakes you up in the mornings, throwing his pillow at you.

You come over here for the first. Liam thinks so, because he sees you sitting on the edge of the long wooden pew. He certainly hasn’t noticed you all those times you were hiding behind the column; you would come in advance to listen to his singing that would get lost in the union of voices.  
It’s just your sibling feelings that make you follow him whenever he goes, just family warmth.

You’re praying for it’s not to be something else.

***

At the grandmother’s funeral Liam is sitting next to you, fidgeting restlessly on his place, you feel his warm thigh with your own. He is craning his neck and you wish you were in the priest’s place, in the place of anyone who catches your little brother’s glance.

You fumble for his tiny palm and hold it, you are no touchy-feely, it’s definitely not your story, you just hold it. He puts his head on your shoulder. You know: you can’t do that; it doesn’t mean you can’t do that here and now, but wherever you are, any time. But while the cloud of grief is hanging above everyone’s heads no one will see, you just need some support. 

That’s all. 

***

He is already here when you come in. He goes there every day over the last week. The tour, the mountain of money you could have gotten in States, you just couldn’t care less about all those things. Because, in the end of the day, there is no power in the world that can really stand in the way of a man who wants to come back home.  
You sit by his side. 

He never prays, he doesn’t know a single prayer, at least, that’s what you think. The virgin Mary is looking down on them with her eyes full of empathy and sorrow. Liam is all about empathy and sorrow, but you won’t tell him. So you two are sitting there, watching all that fake gold around you. 

\- I was there. 

You turn your head to see him hunching his back as he lost his spirit completely. 

\- Liam…

But he doesn’t let you finish. 

\- I was there, went upstairs. It had been sealed off. The doorknob is still sticking. Nothing’s changed, hasn’t it? 

Then he looks up at you, for the first time in all these days. They’ve broken up for a couple of years ago, she would remember him as often as God would come to this place. You have no idea why it hurts him so much, but it seems, the same pain is piercing through you. He is looking into your eyes with such an intensity, as if you could give him an answer to the question that hasn’t any. Why did that psycho murdered his ex-girlfriend.* There and then you decide it’s time, it’s time to tell him the truth. 

\- I love you. 

The virgin Mary is looking down on two of you with her eyes full of empathy and sorrow, because at the end of the day it can’t be helped. 

*** 

\- Cain, because it’s going to happen. 

You’re laughing. Liam has recently has a fascination with the religion in light of the fact that outside of it you had tried and broken literally every possible rule. The religion is actually no different, you just haven’t put it on the display for the entire world to see yet. 

\- You’re not going to push me over the edge and I’m not going to kill you, right? Because I have the patient of a saint. 

Liam smiles back at you. 

\- It is going to happen. Remember, I predicted you would marry Meg…

\- Yes! Making proposal to Patsy. Well, when it’s happening? 

\- What? 

Liam turns around at the very doorway, he’s going to bring them some beer. 

\- Cain kills Abel.

\- In the end. 

You chuckle, going through the clothes in the bags. You put the golden cross in the pocket of Liam’s jeans. You want God to be with you at least that way. 

*** 

The silence of the room is constantly breaking by the mumbling on TV, it’s throwing blue specks of light on the walls. Noel closes his eyes, feeling his body enjoyably tired. Liam’s by his side, surfing over the channels earnestly, when out of the blue, he asks. 

\- Do you feel it?

You look up at him with your eyes slightly opened, watching Liam bites down on the tip of the cross, two lines of the chain going down his lower lip and chin to the back of Liam’s neck; the gold shines in the darkness. 

\- What? 

He opens his mouth to speak and wet metal falls down on his chest. 

\- Religious guilt. 

\- We aren’t…

\- …supposed to talk about it. 

You sigh. The moment is ruined. 

\- It’s not about God and stuff like that. I’m talking about mum and Paul and grandma. And all the people.

He’s nervous and you wish you could rewind the time to before you heard him saying that, but it’s all inside of your head already. 

\- Every fucking minute… - Liam goes on. 

\- No one will know, right? – That’s all you can do. – It’s about me and you, and is not anyone else’s business. Let’s sleep now. Lest you forget we’ve got a meeting tomorrow at 9:00 AM. 

***

Anyway, Liam feels nothing, touching your thigh right in the church. You’re not kids anymore, it’s unforgivable, besides, someone might see you. The lad, sitting right next to you, who’s your cousin, would catch you, if he wasn’t glaring passionately at the aisle waiting for the bride to walk down, just like everybody else. His palm running up and down your leg. This is his favorite entertainment: to turn you on at the wrong time and stare at you thrashing about in the agony of longing until you can hide away and stay alone with each other. This time he’s looking in the wrong place, you grab him by the wrist and put his hand on the other leg, to let him feel you under the fabric of your expensive trousers. 

So he knows, that you get a hard on only because he’s around you. 

*** 

Liam calls you on the Christmas. He’s in New York, and you’re in London, but in fact you are much closer than a load of people on this planet. He starts singing you little Catholic Christmas song the second you answer the phone. 

\- Four thousands winter, thought he not too long. 

The world around stops as you are listening to his voice, you’re holding the phone so tightly, that your ear goes numb. The burning fireplace blurs before your eyes. Liam’s silent for a while, clearly, waiting for your congratulations. But in this very moment you are no good in a fancy talk or some big words, so you say:

\- I love you, - and you don’t want to repent, even if it’s too late.

**Author's Note:**

> *It refers to Kadamba Simmons (1974-1998) who was in relationship with Liam back in the 90s. In June 1998 the girl had been violently murdered in her own flat in London. She had been strangled and hanged by her former boyfriend Yaniv Malka, who claimed her death was a suicide. He was sentenced to life imprisonment.


End file.
